What is this prego talking about?

I like it when people surprise you in a good way.


What a dumb statement. Who doesn't like that?


I can't be held accountable for things I say or do anymore. As much of a tough badass baller I am as a pregnant chick, I'm starting to feel really pregnant, and it is exhausting. My back is pissed, my shins are pissed, my ribs are pissed, and my brain is pissed. All of a sudden, my brain is expected to comprehend that I am about to push another human out of my body.... and that's the easy part? Then I am supposed to make that human a functioning member of society? Isn't it enough that I grew her arms and eyeballs and spleen? Now I have to make sure she eats her veggies, and does her homework, and doesn't murder?

I like to complain because it's more fun than being happy (there is a peek into how my brain works), but the truth is that women are the lucky ones. Yeah we gotta endure the gruesome parts of pregnancy, but we also get to feel a baby hiccup in our bodies. We get to feel some of our child's earliest movements. And we get that surreal moment when our child goes from being inside of our body as a mysterious little moving belly creature to suddenly sitting on our chest and existing in real life as a real baby. Pregnancy has to be the coolest thing I have ever done. Except for going to the Coldplay concert.... this baby is going to have to be pretty awesome to live up to that concert (and so the psychological damage I will inflict on my child begins).

Enough pregnancy talk.

Can I help the fact that sometimes I really want to be a snobby rich girl with hair extensions and a personal assistant? Sometimes I just want to bling my accessories with pink Swarovski crystals and wear big sunglasses to hide my anorexia.

hmmm... can I be such a girl and be a good role model to my daughter?

I think so....

Ok. Done

What else do I have on my mind today besides the beautiful and awesome power of motherhood and the equally awesome power of being a materialistic narcissistic socialite?

I have way too much on my mind actually. I am trying to accomplish so many things because I feel like I am getting old. How absurd. But in the world of rich socialites, 22 is 42.

I gotta get botox.


Gosh. I'm pregnant.


-Mom-to-Be