My cat and I got into a fight. This was level 10, code red, hide your babies, Michael Vic would be proud kinda fighting. I was an advocate of animal cruelty in that moment. She experienced a severe mood swing and attacked my arm like it was filled with catnip or something and I attacked back like she was filled with icecream or, oddly enough, catnip. We haven't spoken since, but I know she'll weaken and talk first. I'm an expert arguer. I always win. Don't believe me? Start somethin!! START SOMETHIN!
This is what I know (Oh great. Here she goes again): I enjoy arguing. Not name-calling, bitch slapping, club arguing (that's more Gia's style), but the one-on-one battle of words and wits. Most of the time, I'm not even that upset but I just want to argue. Is that healthy? No. You feel bad for my boyfriend? Well, you should. For many reasons. But I can't help it. The Good Lord hath made me this way for a reason. Not like he made the gays. He made them gay so that they would have to suffer their whole lives and go against who they naturally are just to get into heaven. Me, he made this way to enjoy destroying the self-esteem and others' wills to live. I've always been God's favorite, though, so I'm not surprised that he lets me do anything I want.
Things people say when they're delusional: "I've always been God's favorite."
Things that happen to people who say "I've always been God's favorite:" They live a lonely life filled with meaningless relationships with partners who never meet up to their absurd standards, alcoholism, lots of cats, blogging as if people care about their opinion, dying alone in an apartment filled with cat feces and weird books about Civil War heroes (not sure why....), and eventually Hell.
Anyway, as I was saying, I'm God's favorite, which is pretty impressive considering the courageous, dauntless, and audacious acts of Edward F. Arthur, John Davis, John F. Weston, and many others.
-The Favorite
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