Saturday, July 10, 2010

I call you a "fucker" at the end of this post. Just so you know.

Blogs make people extremely self absorbed.

I sit and write about me and my problems and my funny observations on life, and all the while animals are suffering and miley cyrus is existing. I am in what actors call the "vertile void," though. Basically what that means is your life implodes on itself and you emotionally burst into pieces and nothing means everything and everything means nothing and you hate yourself but oddly feel like you are a better person than you've ever been and yet you do nothing for anyone because youd rather be sitting in your own muck of humanity and feel what it all means. You know... that kind of thing.

I hate myself so much right now. I feel like I keep talking about myself (LIKE RIGHT NOW!) but then I think, "No. Katlyn. This is your blog and you need to do what you need to do" and then I think, "You are a selfish whoreface and you need to stop talking for at least 3 days." I have no idea what to do with myself right now. I know less about life at this moment than I ever have before but I feel so alive at the same time. I don't want to be that girl that gets stuck in her own psychology and analyzes everything, but I also don't want to be that girl that lives a superficial life because she never really searches within herself to know what she really believes and really wants.

So here is what I am going to do: I'm going to really focus on my animal rights stuff for the next 3 days (well not just for 3 days but I'm gunna be hardcore about it for 3 days). I'm going to research and write letters and make any necessary life changes and basically rediscover what is important to me in order to find out if I still feel the same as I once did. I'm hoping putting some focus on something other than me trying to be funny and enlightening (we all get it. I'm both of these things. ((I just did a diva hair flip so you know) will clear some stuff up.

So before I go I gotta purge myself of my bullshit so I can go into this thing with an open spirit (too much).

-I don't think Dave Matthews is all that fuckin awesome
-I eat meat (duh) but I don't feel much remorse for it anymore because it helps with my little health issue thingies.
-I do feel remorse and I just lied to you. I just don't know how to balance me being physically healthy with being ethically healthy.
-I am listening to Pandora right now and Rob Pattinson is singing a song.....................I feel like Twilight might be to blame for all my craziness.
-I am terrified of making a mistake in my life right now while I'm young and free. I don't want to waste this precious time.
-I love playing with blocks while I'm at work. Somehow that does not feel like a waste of time.


Ok. I'm done talking about myself for at least 3 days. GOSH! 3 DAYS! THATS SO LONG!

It's really not. I'm just a ridiculous person.


Stop buying products tested on animals, fuckers.

1 comment:

Katie said...

"fertile void" not "vertile void". I'm an idiot.