You can take vitamins, but you're still not Britney Spears.

You cannot change people. 

If you just know someone would be perfect for you save one or two attributes, just remember that you cannot change people.

No one has ever really changed me. I have done things that go against who I am, but who I am remains the same and my actions always ultimately reflect that. 

I hope that there is someone that I do not have to change.

Please say no

Am I emo?

Kenny Gee

My brother told me a funny joke today. 

I mean... you'll have to ask him if you want to know it. 

I got a free condom on the pedestrian walkway today.

I sat it on my desk in front of my professor for a good half hour before I realized it wasn't candy.

I better get an A in that class.

Life is for living we all know, and I don't want to live it alone- Coldplay

Life is weird.

Isn't it the weirdest thing??? Everybody does it, and yet no one knows how to. There are infinite possibilities in life. There is no standard life that leads to bliss. We all have unique perspectives and opportunities. We all share this ignorance to the true "meaning of life" and can all unite under that fact, and yet we all have special and personal understandings of what life means for the individual. You live for Jesus, She lives for Metallica, He lives for baseball, I live for....

Coldplay?

Animals?

Being skinny?

Being popular?

Making people laugh?

Saying "terrorism" over the phone so the Man listens in on my phone conversations?

Blogging?

God?

Science?

Defiance?

I live to question, maybe.

I live to figure things out that I will never figure out.

I live to change because if I stay one way too long, I'll get bored. Or maybe I'm afraid you'll get bored.

I live to be a good person, even though I do not believe there is such a thing. (not that people are bad... we are both)

I live to fall in love (I sound like Carrie Bradshaw right now).

Living... it's frustrating.

How does one become "satisfied" with life?

Will I always be looking ahead? Will I ever stop looking at the map to find my life and see it where I stand?

Is life a sick game of hide and seek? Because I have never been that kid who likes that game. I hate being chased more than anything. I hate laser tag and gang wars and all those other chasing thingies. Maybe that's my problem... Life is all about enjoying running for your life. 

WHAT????

That made sense in my head for like a second, but then again it is 3:33am.

I shouldn't talk.

Don't chase me.

Una perspectiva de hoy

la vida triste

If I'm Nude, I'm Nervous

So I just had a moment:

I am incapable of making new friends.

This I realized while I was naked in the shower (my place of thought). Finding this out while being naked was sad in and of itself (saying "in and of itself at the end of a sentence is like wearing your thong higher than your jeans). Am I incapable of making new friends because of the way I look naked? And if so, how does everyone know what I look like naked?

I digress.

It is not that I am incapable of making new friends because I have weird shoe-polish breath or have an obsession with other people's deodorant. It is that every time I meet someone, we get along, we have fun, we get along, fun is had, and then I find excuses in my mind of why I am too busy to continue contacting them. 

I am incapable of maintaining new relationships. I am very freaking serious right now. It scares me.

I am very much partially freaking out at this moment. I would be very much completely freaking out if I were naked. I may just get naked in the living room right now to indulge in a full-on nude nervous breakdown.

I wont. Carrie just walked in to get water. She looked at me like she was glad I was clothed. I don't get that look too often (you know.. because everyone wants to see me naked). 

See  that parenthetical display of overconfidence! I am hiding in those parentheses by making a joke and avoiding my deficiency in character.

All of these manic thoughts came into mind when I started thinking about Blanche from Streetcar Named Desire. I am playing her in my acting class and trying very hard to bring this complex character to life. In the midst of trying to act as another person, I uncovered a very dark and upsetting place within my own psyche. I never know how to use the word psyche. 

Real talk: I'm worried that I am crazy. I want to know why I cannot relax and enjoy the good in my life. Why must I constantly blog about these higher issues and intense psychological questions? Why can I not let myself just be happy?

Why can I not let myself let new people in my life? Let is a funny word. Let...let, let, let, let, let, let.

Well, I know there are many answers for such questions and I fear delving into any of them. I guess I'm going to have to. Or I'm going to have to buy a bunch of cats. 

Do you remember Shep Huntleigh?

So you're reading this and asking yourself, "Why am I reading this?"

BECAUSE, as always, reading my blog makes you feel better about yourself. Sad! That's mean. 

See.. I was about to publish this post after that last statement but then I felt really unsatisfied. I always blog for answers, but this blog has left me with no answers and many more questions. That is more than mildly frustrating! 

I have reached the nucleus of Katlyn and don't know where to go from here. Her nucleus resembles a Mexican ghetto where things are sketchy yet sexy . 

She has begun speaking in third person.

SHE IS CRAZY!

She must be naked.

OH and I have pictures (from post before this one) but it is cold as a witch's titty outside and I'm wearing spandex, which is great for aerobics and making others feel uncomfortable but not so good for cold weather ventures to the car to get a camera. I will post them later today though. 

"Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard."