Change is good, except at Olive Garden.

This is what pissed me off today.

I am sitting at Olive Garden in a chair large enough for my entire high-school graduating class, and not only that, but the chair rolls. This restaurant is clearly built for some heavy-duty eatin', and at this point in my life so am I (hmm...what does she mean by that ((she=me)). So the server comes to the table, and I order salad and bread before she can tell me her name. It's obvious I'm not here for chit-chat. I'm friggin hungry. She brings the salad and bread, and asks me if I want cheese on my salad. Um. Yes, biatch. I do. I am emmaciated here. I am dying of starvation. I want some cheese. This is where I lose my mind: She didn't give me the option to tell her when to stop. She sprinkled a little bit of the good stuff (cheese) on the salad and flippantly skipped away to do some more teasin' with the cheesin'. I almost burst into tears and could not stop imagining me using the fancy black Olive Garden straw to tracheotomy (I realize this is not a verb) her servery server neck and then force feed her through her new neck-hole some cheese and NOT ask her when she'd had enough cheese.

The logistics of that image are very unlikely, but the sentiment is very clear.  I want cheese, and I want it to come with options.


Olive Garden used to be a classy place where poor college kids could go to feel like they weren't so poor because they were surrounded by servers in white button-downs. It was a place of equality where all men and all women servers wore ties- equally tacky and cheap looking ties. Olive Garden was a place of cheese for all. You ordered 28 cheese lasagna wrapped in a cheese blanket and covered with an elaborate cheese canopy and you still got asked if you wanted cheese on top and how much. What are you now Olive Garden?? The blinders have been removed and now I see it was all a facade. Your garden is barren and your olives are not as salty as I had once believed.....


Everything is changing. I just never thought it would be this hard.



I do love their salad though.


And yes. This is a very detailed intelligent metaphor for my life. Just trust me.