So, I am pretty sure I have had an iron deficiency because I have been ridiculously (oh. and people. it's RIdiculous. not REdiculous. You are not diculousling again)( sorry... that was condescending. You guys are precious little sweetie cuties pies) fatigued and delirious. I have been taking 3 naps a day and getting dizzy. I realized, though, that because I have been Veggie-ing it again...it's probably because of that. Vegetarianism is such a douche. Here I am supporting it and loving it, and it's going to college 800 miles away and dating some asshole that I have clearly said that she should not be dating. Metaphorically, of course.
I'm watching "Fame," the new movie version, with Reggie right now. It is discouraging to me because all these kids are very talented but they are in this movie. Then, I think about my life, and I know that I am ridiculously talented but I am WATCHING this movie. Then I think about the things I say, and I know I should stop talking, but I won't.
K.
"Artists are the most important people in the world"
-Artists
So, I know this has been the theme of the past too many posts, but it's what's on my mind. Here it is. I am graduating in less than 2 months. Like....real talk. Me. Real world. Responsibilities. Money. MARRIAGE? KIDS? MORTGAGES? BOOK CLUBS???
I know EVERYONE says this, but I want my life to be lived outside the box. Mainly because I want my autobiography and Lifetime Movie about my life to make me millions so that I can buy a mansion and hire illegal immigrants cheaply so that I use most of my money on designer brand blenders and purses and then have a kid who will grow up to be an heiress who will then make her own millions by having a reality show and a perfume line that is tested on animals and then she will be the spokesperson for a diet pill that will help thousands of fatties lose weight and then about half of them will die young from cancer and the other half will have mysterious pain that comes and goes so they go to the doctor and spend thousands of dollars on prescription drugs that are tested on animals and used on Africans before given to those upper-class white women with health insurance when all they really needed to do was drink more water and eat foods that aren't filled with hormones and pesticides and all sorts of chemicals.
Whoa. I think I just blacked out. What was I sayin?
Right. Graduating. When I graduate, I am going to live.
Actually... shouldn't I be living now?
Here is my advice for the day. Listen to it. Don't question it. Believe everything I say, and then teach your kids to believe everything I say and then continue this pattern for thousands of years and at some point someone will write a book based on my teachings that will become sacred and then people will use my words to justify wars, segregate the masses, and prevent people from asking questions about what they eat, who they vote for, or how they should live their life because companies and candidates and television evangelists throw the word "Katlyn" around to make all they say seem good on the surface.
Blackout again.
HERE is my advice: Don't base your life on something that is "coming up." Don't say, "As soon as ____ happens, I'll be happy." Be happy in this very moment. BE HAPPY!
So I'm done saying, "As soon as I graduate, I'll be happy," or "As soon as Matt comes back, I'll be happy," "Or as soon as Ingrid stops attacking me in random fits of rage, I'll be happy." I'll be happy now, and that's all I can really control. Who knows what the future holds? So if I depend on something that is coming in the future, there is no guarantee that I'll ever really get there.
I want to make a metaphor about a wasted life being like Christmas shopping at Walmart, but I won't.
Oh yes. AND HAPPY THURSDAY! Thursdays are awesome. Celebrate it somehow. Even if its just by running outside while its raining. I always find that thrilling.
I love you all, and I hope that my angsty rants don't turn you off. All I really want to do is turn you on.
-Katlyn, The Blog Tease
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