Really I can't help being sensual. Like earlier I ate a cheerio off the floor.
You know what happens to sensual people? They get pregnant. Or maybe pregnant people just constantly eat a lot (aka popsicles and cheerios) and they convince themselves its sensual.
Either way... I got a baby in my gut. It's pushing on my bladder and making my bellybutton shallower, but I can forgive these things because it gives me an excuse to eat a lot and makes me 97% more adorable.
I was raised Catholic and pretty conservative and now look at me. I'm a crazy heathen liberal socialist weirdo. So, my first decision as a parent (WEIRD!) is to raise my kid to be a Republican stripper so he/she will end up being the opposite of that.
Actually I really don't care what my baby grows up to be as long as he/she doesn't murder and as long as he/she is tan. And doesn't have an annoying laugh.
Anyone can have a baby these days.
Buy me diapers.
I need big ones, though, because I'm getting fatter every day.
Yea me. Not the baby. It's always about the baby! GAH
Um.... it's covered in weird hairy goo that it eats and poops out.
Bye.
-The emotionally stable mom-to-be
2 comments:
It amazing the things you can get away with when you are preggers. Its the best excuse in the world! I got away with so much when I was pregnant...
have you tried making up cravings yet? do it, its awesome.
you're the most baddest assed person in the whole geo-political system! Yeah, I said it!
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